"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

I have never been one for arguing. Conflict and I. . .conflict. However, when things get violent, it helps to be prepared. Theodore Roosevelt was quite right on this topic, I believe. Passivism will get you far, but not all the way.

Speaking softly does calm people down. I'm certain that's the reason that people croon to large animals when they feel intimidated. Apparently, if one stumbles across a large bear while hiking, one is supposed to speak softly and crouch down and appear small. This supposedly lulls the bear into thinking you're neither threatening nor large enough to be a meal. The same can be said for aggressive arguers. The wisest course to start on would be the wild bear approach: don't give them any reason to verbally attack or eat you.

However, occasionally the metaphorical wild bear is a metaphorically maternal wild bear. Mama bear will eat you to protect her cub. She dun care how scrawny or peaceful you are.

When one encounters outright, literal violence that it not symbolic in any way--when someone is ready to punch you in your fleshy nose--the wise course in this case to be threatening. I recommend martial arts.

I intensely studied the karate style called Isshin-Ryu over the summer. My sensei was a man who spoke softly and carried a big stick. He was quite short, and he liked to laugh and make people feel comfortable walking around the dojo in pajamas, barefoot. However, he was a weapon in his own right with a fifth degree black belt. He made sure that his students learned more than just hand-to-hand combat. We had to learn to use dual sai and a marvelous object called a bo. A bo is a six-foot long bamboo staff that you hit people with. Martial arts is my big stick. People find it quite intimidating and generally leave me alone after a roundhouse kick.

Hopefully, you will never have to unleash your big stick. It is wise to resort to the wild bear technique wherever possible. Speak softly and carry a big stick.

"Life is too short to wear boring socks."

Mortality plagues us all. Lovely thought, eh? This brings many people to the desire for a hedonistic lifestyle: "Get what you can while the getting's good." I generally frown upon satisfying every whim of our subconcious--it tends to lead to nasty things. However, I can find nothing harmful with enjoying socks, as a matter of fact, I like them profusely.

Socks can be quite delightful things. I remember when my parents brought my adopted brother home from Transylvania. A month or so later, we took him to a shopping mall for the first time. While passing through the shoe department in a JC Penney's, we stumbled upon a wall. It was twenty feet high and six feet wide. Every inch was covered in a different pair of socks. My brother's gaze soaked in the sight of the monolith. With delight, awe, and a hint of fear, he stared at the wall and half-gasped, half-whispered: "...Socks."

They come varieties of patterns, colors, shapes, and sizes. I personally own pairs is a myriad of different colors as well as two pairs of Batman print and one of Dr. Suess's "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish," and a pair of knee high socks that have piano keys all the way from knee to toe. With daring, humor, and gusto, socks can make any wardrobe memorable.

However, they can also be quite bland. Few things are as depressing as plastic packages of 20 or so white socks with grey toes and heels. All the same. All quite colorless. All quite boring. They're economical, but also kind of a waste of cotton.

With the millions of vibrant options availible to people with feet, why should we wear boring socks? If we're going to enjoy the best of cloth foot-clothing, we mustn't waste time!

Life is too short to wear boring socks.